Positive

I've been thinking a blog or two about the pregnancy is in order. I think that someday I will want to look back and remember some of my experiences and also that my child might want to know some day what it was like to carry him/her before we even met. So best to get a few thoughts down before the whole thing slips by.

I suppose I should start with finding out. Don and I started "trying" about four months before we confirmed. The first thing you learn about pregnancy is that despite what every adult ever told you when you were a teenager, the odds of actually conceiving are so much narrower than you would have ever possibly imagined. A LOT of things have to line up for pregnancy to occur. I'm not complaining at all about 4 months as I know a lot of people for whom it took much longer. The timing couldn't have worked out more perfectly for us. I was really hoping to get pregnant before my 34th birthday and we found out in Mid November with 6 weeks to go that we were. Mostly that was just because I wanted to have the baby before I turned 35 and this would have given me enough of a cushion not to stress out in the final months of the countdown.

The first month or two were a bit nerve wracking in trying to discern any possible signs from my own body that would tell me I was pregnant before one of those little sticks could. Of course every "sign" of pregnancy, is similar to a sign that you are about to start your period so there is really no way of knowing. The first month I took a test 5 days early and then again 2 days early because I was so excited and wanted to know. I learned pretty quickly not to waste $14 on Quick Response tests and all you could do was wait until you skip. So we went along for the next few months and finally in the fourth month, not expecting at all that anything was going to happen, I actually lost track of my specific dates but knew generally about what week we were shooting for. Don had to go to the midwest for a work conference in mid November and on the day of his return, I thought I might waste another pregnancy test because it would be worth it when he got home to surprise him if it was good news. Even though I was thinking it was probably a little early still I went ahead and tested. I went in the bathroom fully expecting a no and had a split second of disappointment until I noticed the rather faint second line but it was there! I was so excited I kept going back in and looking at it every few minutes to make sure it was still there. Now I just had to wait several hours for Don to get home so I could share the news with him.

As luck would have it Don was flying in to Seatac with a two and a half hour layover before the leg back to Bellingham. It was so frustrating to have him just an hour away and still have to wait so long. He was going to be home about 9:30 p.m. and I couldn't wait to pick him up at the airport. Since Don proposed to me at an airport, I started to think if there was a creative way I could announce to him that we were going to be parents when I picked him up. Unfortunately, I got a very frustrated call from him a couple of hours later saying that he had missed his flight! There was a mixup with the gates and unfortunately he didn't figure it out until it was too late. No other flights were going out that night to Bellingham but he was able to find a shuttle that would get him here around midnight. It was so frustrating for him and I couldn't tell him why but obviously frustrating for me too. I decided to go to Fred Meyer to do a little grocery shopping to pass the time. I remember being so tired when I was walking around the store that I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I also remember the checker asking me how I was doing and wanting to tell him and everyone else, "I'm awesome! I just found out I'm pregnant!" But I refrained.

After I got home and put the groceries away I realized there was no way I was going to be able to stay awake so I settled into bed and set my alarm for midnight. Finally midnight rolled around and I went out to warm up the car to go pick up Don. I was so tired I literally felt like I had been drugged and might as well have just had 4 alcoholic beverages before getting behind the wheel, I'm sure that's about how safe it was. Luckily the hotel where the shuttle was being dropped off was only about a mile away and I made it safely there just before Don's arrival. He looked about like death warmed over too after a super frustrating and exhausting day of travel but I had to tell him I was too tired to drive home and needed him to take the keys which he was not thrilled about.

When we got home we both settled happily into the comfort of our own bed and started to unwind the day with a little chit chat. I asked him a little about the conference and eventually our conversation came around to the topic of our terrible habit of skipping lunches. I mentioned to him that I was motivated to start eating healthier because I needed good nutrition "in my condition." It took him a second but after a long pause, he repeated "in your condition?" To which I responded that yes I was pregnant. There was immediate celebration and comments of "well that makes the whole disastrous day worthwhile." I don't remember much of the conversation after that, but I do remember how tenderly he cuddled me that night and thinking that even after 8 years of a very wonderful marriage, this man loves me even more than he did 5 minutes ago.